Once upon a time there was a girl. PG as I called her, was intelligent, sane, hard-working and unlike most of us, unbitten by the bug of love. As much as we all love our lovers, PG loved gizmos. Until one day, the love of her life began to fix her up with someone else. Her own cellphone, that played music as per wish and shut-up whenever she wanted peace had somehow changed its work profile and was suddenly playing, 'the matchmaker'. The love and respect for the phone was such that she could by no means ask it to mind its own business. Her love started blaring every time there was a message from the new lover and kept ringing in spite of her will to talk. So one love lead to another and by the time she realized, she had talked on the phone for 8 hours at a stretch. As much as a one-two hour chat might be exciting, PG had broken her record and had defied all laws of nature. She had lost sense, sleep, patience and her first love. The new connection wasn't worth the effort she knows now, but what she has also lost is the vibe she shared with her first lover.
Moral of the story: Since cellphones are at our disposal and allow us to talk insanely for hours, they are the new cupid, and unfortunately, also the new enemies. Beware of the cellphone addiction and understand that no matter how much you love it, shutting it up may still sometimes be wise.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Wedding jitters
There is something strange about being in the so-called marriageable age. The moment you realise that your next aim is almost achieved and that you are at a stage in life where everyone else gets married, a weird churning of emotions begins. Even if you are one of those who believe that you aren't influenced by what others do, this is where you have no say. Not to mention the constant convincing. Parents, brothers, sisters, friends, colleagues, cousins and even the kaam wali bai would know that you are now ready for marriage even if you think you are far behind 'the age'.
No points for guessing, I am (or so they say) in the marriageable age. Be it lectures on getting married in time, finding a caring person for life or settling down, all speeches have more or less had the same content. Of course, we all like weddings. Or is it the partying we like? Hard to decide. So here I am, loving the moment even though everyone is trying hard to change my home address. Shaadi vicholas, words of mouth and even matrimony sites, I am trying it all. The only good part is, these days even the girls get to see the pics and bio-datas (yes I have all of those) and I have recently seen some good ones. I am not complaining but there is a feeling in me that something is going to happen soon - hence all the excitement. I am getting wedding jitters even though nothing is fixed and nothing is happening. If anyone knows, please, HELP.
No points for guessing, I am (or so they say) in the marriageable age. Be it lectures on getting married in time, finding a caring person for life or settling down, all speeches have more or less had the same content. Of course, we all like weddings. Or is it the partying we like? Hard to decide. So here I am, loving the moment even though everyone is trying hard to change my home address. Shaadi vicholas, words of mouth and even matrimony sites, I am trying it all. The only good part is, these days even the girls get to see the pics and bio-datas (yes I have all of those) and I have recently seen some good ones. I am not complaining but there is a feeling in me that something is going to happen soon - hence all the excitement. I am getting wedding jitters even though nothing is fixed and nothing is happening. If anyone knows, please, HELP.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
The Saturday Saga
It’s the third Saturday and I am working (officially). The agony, the pain, the anger and the lethargy are all dumped into one body and that is mine. Not that I am very proud of this habit, but I usually get up at 5 in the morning.
Only, its to shut the alarm and go back to sleep again. So, to add to this pathetic routine, the Saturday morning started with the alarm blaring very loudly at the other corner of my room which is to make me get up from the bed (not saying it’s a successful trick). So after watching a late night show of Namaste London snuggled into my japuri rajai (I don’t like the AC on mid or low blower and at a temp more than 20 deg), I went to sleep sometime between 1 and 2. But I guess even a good movie show doesn’t replace your need to sleep and sleep and sleep. So when finally I did get up, the clock showed 7:55. For those of you who think I did sleep enough, I HATE YOU!
Now I am in office, describing the so-painful story of my incomplete sleep. But what I should add here are the niggling effects of being in your office on a Saturday that doesn’t need to be a working day. I miss the days when Saturdays were always off, when I closed work at 4 and downloaded movies and songs from office (understandably, they’re blocked here). If you think on the same lines without being judgemental about me being so damn lethargic and needy of off-time, let me know and we’ll sob together.
Only, its to shut the alarm and go back to sleep again. So, to add to this pathetic routine, the Saturday morning started with the alarm blaring very loudly at the other corner of my room which is to make me get up from the bed (not saying it’s a successful trick). So after watching a late night show of Namaste London snuggled into my japuri rajai (I don’t like the AC on mid or low blower and at a temp more than 20 deg), I went to sleep sometime between 1 and 2. But I guess even a good movie show doesn’t replace your need to sleep and sleep and sleep. So when finally I did get up, the clock showed 7:55. For those of you who think I did sleep enough, I HATE YOU!
Now I am in office, describing the so-painful story of my incomplete sleep. But what I should add here are the niggling effects of being in your office on a Saturday that doesn’t need to be a working day. I miss the days when Saturdays were always off, when I closed work at 4 and downloaded movies and songs from office (understandably, they’re blocked here). If you think on the same lines without being judgemental about me being so damn lethargic and needy of off-time, let me know and we’ll sob together.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Nobody Knows
Although this is just a song, its the saga of my heart. Every word it says it seems is not the singer's words but my heart's. Here are the lyrics...
NOBODY KNOWS
By: The Tony Rich Project
I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
Now I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And, I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
Now I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake it's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night as if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me
How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
Million words couldn't say just how I feel
Million years from now you know
I'll be lovin' you still….
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
Now I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
Tomorrow mornin' I'm hitting the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
Now I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
NOBODY KNOWS
By: The Tony Rich Project
I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
Now I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And, I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
Now I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake it's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night as if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me
How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
Million words couldn't say just how I feel
Million years from now you know
I'll be lovin' you still….
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
Now I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
Tomorrow mornin' I'm hitting the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
Now I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Believe it or not - you will believe it
This is about Astrolgers and their predictions. To begin with, I think I must mention that I am one of those people who proudly claim that "I do not believe in astrology and do not care about predictions" and yet I read my horoscope in the hope that someday somehow anything nice said in it would come true. Although I am pretty religious, I like to believe that mentally I am strong enough to leave all such messy subjects out of the already traffic-jammed space in my brain.
Well, the reason we are talking about this is because, another astrolger recently said a certain things about you. There is always one or the other problem with astrologers. No matter what they say, they raise the excitement level in you and hence are a reason in triggering strokes. Now this new astrologer (Thank God I didn't meet him in person) told my family some things about me. The problem is, even if he said anything extra-ordinarily nice about me, I would have been anxious to know, and now since he gave a mixed report, I am again anxious. Even though I know there is no reason to believe in this so-called 'science', my poor human brain does get attracted to know more.
Well, the reason we are talking about this is because, another astrolger recently said a certain things about you. There is always one or the other problem with astrologers. No matter what they say, they raise the excitement level in you and hence are a reason in triggering strokes. Now this new astrologer (Thank God I didn't meet him in person) told my family some things about me. The problem is, even if he said anything extra-ordinarily nice about me, I would have been anxious to know, and now since he gave a mixed report, I am again anxious. Even though I know there is no reason to believe in this so-called 'science', my poor human brain does get attracted to know more.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Love - is it really ever true?
Today I read an article about a couple who got together even three years of living apart. Not saying that this is something we haven't heard of before, its just a little surprising. It makes me wonder, how much did they compromise? And more importantly, how much were they willing? Is it really true love that stands no matter what, or is just fate that leads one thing to the other.
I can say for sure that long distance relationships are the most difficult type of pre-marriage compromises a couple makes. Having gone through this pain myself, I know for sure, how painful it is to keep going, letting go and getting over the guilt of such relationship. Yes, I have had a failed long distance relationship. Some people might consider this bad on my part because moving out of the relationship was my call. But little known is the fact that, most long distance relationships lead to a lot of suffering and most of them do not work out. For the lucky ones that is, of course, they are different - they are lucky.
But every time I encounter this subject, I am guilt ridden, not only of leaving him, but also of not proving myself as patient and as loving and caring as I like to believe myself.
I can say for sure that long distance relationships are the most difficult type of pre-marriage compromises a couple makes. Having gone through this pain myself, I know for sure, how painful it is to keep going, letting go and getting over the guilt of such relationship. Yes, I have had a failed long distance relationship. Some people might consider this bad on my part because moving out of the relationship was my call. But little known is the fact that, most long distance relationships lead to a lot of suffering and most of them do not work out. For the lucky ones that is, of course, they are different - they are lucky.
But every time I encounter this subject, I am guilt ridden, not only of leaving him, but also of not proving myself as patient and as loving and caring as I like to believe myself.
Long Distance Love Vs. Emotional Unavailability
The pros and cons of having a far-sitting lover....
“He called up early this morning, and I was fast asleep. My God, how does he even manage to work so late in such cold there? No dear, it’s a five and a half hours difference, so he was getting started for a late night party. And he mentioned something about coming here for Christmas, and I am thinking how I can manage getting a whole week off. I hope he just comes down for a weekend”.
Long distance relationships are the new in-thing. Not only because they get you to show off that your lover stays in a more hip place, they are also convenient and easy to keep. Thanks to the telecom companies, international calling has become affordable and is hence not a constraint in maintaining a love relationship. But apart from the money factor, such relationships are much more convenient to maintain with the ever so demanding professional lives we live. With no time for love, such long distance relationships are an easy option for the little space we have for companionship. After a long day of work, few minutes on the phone or skype help us decompress. And what more can one want from life once you have a nice job, relaxing weekends, time for friends and even a smiling and happy lover? This is why these relationships are a perfect fit in the urban lifestyle we all crave to have.
Now talking about the dark side, what happened to the “will do anything for love” factor? In fact, the question here is “where is love gone”? Taking a trip somewhere? We all love to be loved, cared and pampered. So how exactly do such relationships flourish with so many missing aspects?
Love, the so talked about and most important part of human life is a diminishing element these days openly played as a game. And here is where these long distance relationships act as nothing but a relationship buffer. Then there comes a time when we all need emotional support. So then, how does this long distance relationship fit in? Kanchan, a software programmer was happy in her busy work life while she sneaked out a few minutes every second day to talk to her boyfriend, Ankit in the U.S. With a 13.5 hours time difference between them, their lives were a perfect fit into their majorly professional lives. With not much time for fighting and or thinking about the future of their relationship, they were happy with whatever little time they had to be able to talk on the phone. Although Kanchan and Ankit met each other in person four times in their two year long love tenure through business trips to each other’s countries, there was no dating pattern in the relationship. Gradually, they got distanced and the emotional bonding they once shared evaporated.
The truth is, that no matter how much we involve ourselves in the corporate culture, we want to come back home to someone who is available to care for it all. All relationships demand adjustments and compromises, but at the end you do it all for love and support. So when the love factor fades away, it makes you think “why make all these efforts”? Not saying that all long distance relationships end up broken, but yes, they are difficult in the beginning and later on become just plain different. Many of such relationships get broken in the name of a having a real relationship than that of having a virtual one.
All this makes me wonder - does emotional unavailability erode away the layers of love? Or is there anything like true love that stands still no matter even if there are oceans between two people?
“He called up early this morning, and I was fast asleep. My God, how does he even manage to work so late in such cold there? No dear, it’s a five and a half hours difference, so he was getting started for a late night party. And he mentioned something about coming here for Christmas, and I am thinking how I can manage getting a whole week off. I hope he just comes down for a weekend”.
Long distance relationships are the new in-thing. Not only because they get you to show off that your lover stays in a more hip place, they are also convenient and easy to keep. Thanks to the telecom companies, international calling has become affordable and is hence not a constraint in maintaining a love relationship. But apart from the money factor, such relationships are much more convenient to maintain with the ever so demanding professional lives we live. With no time for love, such long distance relationships are an easy option for the little space we have for companionship. After a long day of work, few minutes on the phone or skype help us decompress. And what more can one want from life once you have a nice job, relaxing weekends, time for friends and even a smiling and happy lover? This is why these relationships are a perfect fit in the urban lifestyle we all crave to have.
Now talking about the dark side, what happened to the “will do anything for love” factor? In fact, the question here is “where is love gone”? Taking a trip somewhere? We all love to be loved, cared and pampered. So how exactly do such relationships flourish with so many missing aspects?
Love, the so talked about and most important part of human life is a diminishing element these days openly played as a game. And here is where these long distance relationships act as nothing but a relationship buffer. Then there comes a time when we all need emotional support. So then, how does this long distance relationship fit in? Kanchan, a software programmer was happy in her busy work life while she sneaked out a few minutes every second day to talk to her boyfriend, Ankit in the U.S. With a 13.5 hours time difference between them, their lives were a perfect fit into their majorly professional lives. With not much time for fighting and or thinking about the future of their relationship, they were happy with whatever little time they had to be able to talk on the phone. Although Kanchan and Ankit met each other in person four times in their two year long love tenure through business trips to each other’s countries, there was no dating pattern in the relationship. Gradually, they got distanced and the emotional bonding they once shared evaporated.
The truth is, that no matter how much we involve ourselves in the corporate culture, we want to come back home to someone who is available to care for it all. All relationships demand adjustments and compromises, but at the end you do it all for love and support. So when the love factor fades away, it makes you think “why make all these efforts”? Not saying that all long distance relationships end up broken, but yes, they are difficult in the beginning and later on become just plain different. Many of such relationships get broken in the name of a having a real relationship than that of having a virtual one.
All this makes me wonder - does emotional unavailability erode away the layers of love? Or is there anything like true love that stands still no matter even if there are oceans between two people?
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