This is about Astrolgers and their predictions. To begin with, I think I must mention that I am one of those people who proudly claim that "I do not believe in astrology and do not care about predictions" and yet I read my horoscope in the hope that someday somehow anything nice said in it would come true. Although I am pretty religious, I like to believe that mentally I am strong enough to leave all such messy subjects out of the already traffic-jammed space in my brain.
Well, the reason we are talking about this is because, another astrolger recently said a certain things about you. There is always one or the other problem with astrologers. No matter what they say, they raise the excitement level in you and hence are a reason in triggering strokes. Now this new astrologer (Thank God I didn't meet him in person) told my family some things about me. The problem is, even if he said anything extra-ordinarily nice about me, I would have been anxious to know, and now since he gave a mixed report, I am again anxious. Even though I know there is no reason to believe in this so-called 'science', my poor human brain does get attracted to know more.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
Love - is it really ever true?
Today I read an article about a couple who got together even three years of living apart. Not saying that this is something we haven't heard of before, its just a little surprising. It makes me wonder, how much did they compromise? And more importantly, how much were they willing? Is it really true love that stands no matter what, or is just fate that leads one thing to the other.
I can say for sure that long distance relationships are the most difficult type of pre-marriage compromises a couple makes. Having gone through this pain myself, I know for sure, how painful it is to keep going, letting go and getting over the guilt of such relationship. Yes, I have had a failed long distance relationship. Some people might consider this bad on my part because moving out of the relationship was my call. But little known is the fact that, most long distance relationships lead to a lot of suffering and most of them do not work out. For the lucky ones that is, of course, they are different - they are lucky.
But every time I encounter this subject, I am guilt ridden, not only of leaving him, but also of not proving myself as patient and as loving and caring as I like to believe myself.
I can say for sure that long distance relationships are the most difficult type of pre-marriage compromises a couple makes. Having gone through this pain myself, I know for sure, how painful it is to keep going, letting go and getting over the guilt of such relationship. Yes, I have had a failed long distance relationship. Some people might consider this bad on my part because moving out of the relationship was my call. But little known is the fact that, most long distance relationships lead to a lot of suffering and most of them do not work out. For the lucky ones that is, of course, they are different - they are lucky.
But every time I encounter this subject, I am guilt ridden, not only of leaving him, but also of not proving myself as patient and as loving and caring as I like to believe myself.
Long Distance Love Vs. Emotional Unavailability
The pros and cons of having a far-sitting lover....
“He called up early this morning, and I was fast asleep. My God, how does he even manage to work so late in such cold there? No dear, it’s a five and a half hours difference, so he was getting started for a late night party. And he mentioned something about coming here for Christmas, and I am thinking how I can manage getting a whole week off. I hope he just comes down for a weekend”.
Long distance relationships are the new in-thing. Not only because they get you to show off that your lover stays in a more hip place, they are also convenient and easy to keep. Thanks to the telecom companies, international calling has become affordable and is hence not a constraint in maintaining a love relationship. But apart from the money factor, such relationships are much more convenient to maintain with the ever so demanding professional lives we live. With no time for love, such long distance relationships are an easy option for the little space we have for companionship. After a long day of work, few minutes on the phone or skype help us decompress. And what more can one want from life once you have a nice job, relaxing weekends, time for friends and even a smiling and happy lover? This is why these relationships are a perfect fit in the urban lifestyle we all crave to have.
Now talking about the dark side, what happened to the “will do anything for love” factor? In fact, the question here is “where is love gone”? Taking a trip somewhere? We all love to be loved, cared and pampered. So how exactly do such relationships flourish with so many missing aspects?
Love, the so talked about and most important part of human life is a diminishing element these days openly played as a game. And here is where these long distance relationships act as nothing but a relationship buffer. Then there comes a time when we all need emotional support. So then, how does this long distance relationship fit in? Kanchan, a software programmer was happy in her busy work life while she sneaked out a few minutes every second day to talk to her boyfriend, Ankit in the U.S. With a 13.5 hours time difference between them, their lives were a perfect fit into their majorly professional lives. With not much time for fighting and or thinking about the future of their relationship, they were happy with whatever little time they had to be able to talk on the phone. Although Kanchan and Ankit met each other in person four times in their two year long love tenure through business trips to each other’s countries, there was no dating pattern in the relationship. Gradually, they got distanced and the emotional bonding they once shared evaporated.
The truth is, that no matter how much we involve ourselves in the corporate culture, we want to come back home to someone who is available to care for it all. All relationships demand adjustments and compromises, but at the end you do it all for love and support. So when the love factor fades away, it makes you think “why make all these efforts”? Not saying that all long distance relationships end up broken, but yes, they are difficult in the beginning and later on become just plain different. Many of such relationships get broken in the name of a having a real relationship than that of having a virtual one.
All this makes me wonder - does emotional unavailability erode away the layers of love? Or is there anything like true love that stands still no matter even if there are oceans between two people?
“He called up early this morning, and I was fast asleep. My God, how does he even manage to work so late in such cold there? No dear, it’s a five and a half hours difference, so he was getting started for a late night party. And he mentioned something about coming here for Christmas, and I am thinking how I can manage getting a whole week off. I hope he just comes down for a weekend”.
Long distance relationships are the new in-thing. Not only because they get you to show off that your lover stays in a more hip place, they are also convenient and easy to keep. Thanks to the telecom companies, international calling has become affordable and is hence not a constraint in maintaining a love relationship. But apart from the money factor, such relationships are much more convenient to maintain with the ever so demanding professional lives we live. With no time for love, such long distance relationships are an easy option for the little space we have for companionship. After a long day of work, few minutes on the phone or skype help us decompress. And what more can one want from life once you have a nice job, relaxing weekends, time for friends and even a smiling and happy lover? This is why these relationships are a perfect fit in the urban lifestyle we all crave to have.
Now talking about the dark side, what happened to the “will do anything for love” factor? In fact, the question here is “where is love gone”? Taking a trip somewhere? We all love to be loved, cared and pampered. So how exactly do such relationships flourish with so many missing aspects?
Love, the so talked about and most important part of human life is a diminishing element these days openly played as a game. And here is where these long distance relationships act as nothing but a relationship buffer. Then there comes a time when we all need emotional support. So then, how does this long distance relationship fit in? Kanchan, a software programmer was happy in her busy work life while she sneaked out a few minutes every second day to talk to her boyfriend, Ankit in the U.S. With a 13.5 hours time difference between them, their lives were a perfect fit into their majorly professional lives. With not much time for fighting and or thinking about the future of their relationship, they were happy with whatever little time they had to be able to talk on the phone. Although Kanchan and Ankit met each other in person four times in their two year long love tenure through business trips to each other’s countries, there was no dating pattern in the relationship. Gradually, they got distanced and the emotional bonding they once shared evaporated.
The truth is, that no matter how much we involve ourselves in the corporate culture, we want to come back home to someone who is available to care for it all. All relationships demand adjustments and compromises, but at the end you do it all for love and support. So when the love factor fades away, it makes you think “why make all these efforts”? Not saying that all long distance relationships end up broken, but yes, they are difficult in the beginning and later on become just plain different. Many of such relationships get broken in the name of a having a real relationship than that of having a virtual one.
All this makes me wonder - does emotional unavailability erode away the layers of love? Or is there anything like true love that stands still no matter even if there are oceans between two people?
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