The pros and cons of having a far-sitting lover....
“He called up early this morning, and I was fast asleep. My God, how does he even manage to work so late in such cold there? No dear, it’s a five and a half hours difference, so he was getting started for a late night party. And he mentioned something about coming here for Christmas, and I am thinking how I can manage getting a whole week off. I hope he just comes down for a weekend”.
Long distance relationships are the new in-thing. Not only because they get you to show off that your lover stays in a more hip place, they are also convenient and easy to keep. Thanks to the telecom companies, international calling has become affordable and is hence not a constraint in maintaining a love relationship. But apart from the money factor, such relationships are much more convenient to maintain with the ever so demanding professional lives we live. With no time for love, such long distance relationships are an easy option for the little space we have for companionship. After a long day of work, few minutes on the phone or skype help us decompress. And what more can one want from life once you have a nice job, relaxing weekends, time for friends and even a smiling and happy lover? This is why these relationships are a perfect fit in the urban lifestyle we all crave to have.
Now talking about the dark side, what happened to the “will do anything for love” factor? In fact, the question here is “where is love gone”? Taking a trip somewhere? We all love to be loved, cared and pampered. So how exactly do such relationships flourish with so many missing aspects?
Love, the so talked about and most important part of human life is a diminishing element these days openly played as a game. And here is where these long distance relationships act as nothing but a relationship buffer. Then there comes a time when we all need emotional support. So then, how does this long distance relationship fit in? Kanchan, a software programmer was happy in her busy work life while she sneaked out a few minutes every second day to talk to her boyfriend, Ankit in the U.S. With a 13.5 hours time difference between them, their lives were a perfect fit into their majorly professional lives. With not much time for fighting and or thinking about the future of their relationship, they were happy with whatever little time they had to be able to talk on the phone. Although Kanchan and Ankit met each other in person four times in their two year long love tenure through business trips to each other’s countries, there was no dating pattern in the relationship. Gradually, they got distanced and the emotional bonding they once shared evaporated.
The truth is, that no matter how much we involve ourselves in the corporate culture, we want to come back home to someone who is available to care for it all. All relationships demand adjustments and compromises, but at the end you do it all for love and support. So when the love factor fades away, it makes you think “why make all these efforts”? Not saying that all long distance relationships end up broken, but yes, they are difficult in the beginning and later on become just plain different. Many of such relationships get broken in the name of a having a real relationship than that of having a virtual one.
All this makes me wonder - does emotional unavailability erode away the layers of love? Or is there anything like true love that stands still no matter even if there are oceans between two people?
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